I’m not sure how many of you are aware, but I went AWOL for almost a month. When I say AWOL, I really mean locked in the Big Brother house with thirteen strangers all in the name of entertainment. Why did I decide to do this? Why indeed. Fun, social experiment, the overall experience, the trauma?! All of those mentioned.
I laughed, I cried, I couldn’t sleep. I watched endless arguments, paranoia, erratic behaviour and I made a sh*t load of cups of tea! [Talking of sh*t, I cleaned up a lovely mess left in the bathroom one morning. Culprit unidentified! Sorry if you are reading this over breakfast]. I had appointed myself as house cleaner. Basically as no one else seemed to want to do it.
My fellow housemates were as follows [the theme was USA vs UK]:
Natasha Hamilton [Atomic Kitten Singer]
My verdict – lovely girl, good friend
Sherrie Hewston [Actress]
My verdict – mum of the house, adorable
Chris Ellison [Actor]
My verdict – adorable
Bobby Davro [Entertainer – really?!]
My verdict – no comment, I have a headache
Stevie Richie & Chloe Jasmin [X Factor couple – count as one housemate]
My verdict – get me out of here… please
James Hill [Apprentice contestant]
My verdict – baby of the house, lovely until naughty tactical voting at the end
Austin Armacost [Reality TV star & model]
My verdict – love him, my favourite
Daniel Baldmin [Actor]
My verdict – very noisy, left first
Janice Dickinson [World’s first Supermodel]
My verdict – adorably cuckoo
Jenna Jameson [Porn Star]
My verdict – I liked her a lot
Farah Abraham [Reality TV star / Teen Mom]
My verdict – I was scared
Fatman Scoop [Musician / MC]
My verdict – Love love love!
Tila Tequila [no idea]
My verdict – can’t comment, she was removed almost immediately
We took part in tasks which included being covered in fish guts, rotten tofu and stinking hot cheese while wearing waders, then dancing to Fat Man Scoop’s song ‘Be Faithful’ as fish guts and heads fell from our clothing. We acted as royals and servants, we dressed as hot dogs. We had to play mean pranks on each other – that broke me. Not the fish guts or the ritual humiliation – the back stabbing!
But I survived three whole weeks, before it was time for me to be evicted. And tonight… well it’s the final of Celebrity Big Brother, which I will be attending. After watching Big ‘Brother’s Bit On The Side’ being temporarily suspended the other night as an alleged fight took place between recently evicted housemates and housemates from different series, I shall be wearing a suit of armour and taking a huge pot of tea.
Also a huge thank you to Victorinox for my suitcases www.victorinox.com
Thanks to Sweaty Betty for keeping my fitness vibe going www.sweatybetty.com
An extra special thank you to my stylist Lucas Armitage, you are wonderful!
Finally thanks to everyone who voted for me and those who eventually got me out of there!
Would I do it again? Maybe… but after a long bloody holiday with no tea.